The stubborn princess

'She's SO cute!'

Everywhere we go, our daughter, our youngest and kid #3, gets this response. The comments used to focus almost exclusively on her eyes, but now it's everything. Floating around the height/weight 10th percentiles she's quite small for her age, and on top of that she's capable physically and has an attitude about it. She talks extremely well since starting at 18 months. She acts like she owns any place she enters, school, church, the grocery store, wherever. She has some real style too and picks most of her own clothes and shoes, or boots. I cannot argue with and agree wholeheartedly with the statement. She is so cute.

But the problem can be it's apparent she knows this. She must hear it and believe it.

I've been brainstorming a nickname for her for a while. While it wasn't my intention to create monikers for my children through blog posts, a couple phases, I thought, have firmly held true as our boys age. It's amazing how much unique personality develops in children so early. There continues to be no better way to describe our eldest than 'inquisitive.' He's no longer a toddler but the questions, and often the talking in general, never stop. He's endlessly curious and that's a great quality to have, but it can be overwhelming at times. There's also no real improving on 'the tornado' for boy #2. No longer a baby, obviously, he's still everything I described at only 12 months, reckless, hyper observant, at times suddenly destructive, and all over the house leaving a trail in his wake. He's also the most up-and-down emotionally of our children which lends an added variable. On some level or another I expect these pieces of their personality will never leave them. And the growing worry is that our daughter's character may, inescapably, be that of 'the stubborn princess.'

Early draft ideas were a bit different. Originally I wanted to write how she was basically a cat. She's always been shockingly strong and she'd climb to places no one her size should be able to get. It was in particular a problem at our kitchen island where she could get her tiny body up onto the stools but not back down, and it would be a decent fall to a wood floor. Then she'd knock everything off the ledge, to hear the resulting noise I assume. Or, sneakily, not more blatantly like her brother, she'd partake in destruction, of books, or vegetation (like our freshly planted tomato plants a year ago), or whatever she could get her hands on. I'd almost always find the what she did later, not in the moment. The cat-like behavior evolved in something even more generally chaotic as she reached about two years old. For a while I'd regret taking my eyes off her for a second. One morning she was playing with, and eating, some of my wife's makeup. That was a trying morning. She'd climb into the wet shower and slip and get hurt. She'd get into her (oldest) brother's room and ransack it like we see in the movies, with books, Pokemon cards, games and toys everywhere. We started locking his room during the day. Much of this was (is?) the exploratory phase of life, but I do think she learned was what she could get away with. Hopefully it wasn't too much.

It appears she's the most stubborn of our children, which is saying a lot. I'm fairly stubborn myself but lose that competition to my wife. Plus, I'm afraid, our daughter beats her brothers. The girls win. At the moment it's largely impossible to get our daughter to do something she's not in the mood to do. This may be going to the bathroom, continuing to proceed when we're taking a walk or getting her shoes on when leaving the house. She no longer naps in her room. It's frequently like she can't hear us at all and gives no response. But heaven help us if we then physically escort her where she needs to go, or try to help her get dressed, or lift and put her in her car seat. She wanted to do that on her own, you see. And boy is she strong. More often than not she'll fully do the opposite of what she knows we're asking her to do. Run away from us. Grab something when we ask her to leave it alone. Continue with anything she's asked to stop, with more passion than before. None of this is out of the ordinary for two years old. But I'm trying to tell you she's more openly defiant and strong-willed than either of our boys. That's trouble. (On a related note, after about a month of smooth sailing with her potty training we've had some major regression lately. When it's no longer fun...)

This gets combined with the fact she may think she's a princess. Disney and little girls amirite? She likes dresses and really loves dancing and prancing around at all times. She sings constantly, her favorites being from Frozen (esp) and Moana. (She has a remarkable memory for lyrics btw.) We knew and joked from the beginning, as far back as when we found out her sex in utero, that our little girl was going to boss us all around. Youngest, only girl, uh oh. She does think she's in charge already and it's not just our family, for one example she'll yell at kids on the playground and tell them not to run up slides. There are opinions aplenty. Part of this I can't help but reflect is self-inflicted. She does get some special treatment from us as the youngest. Because she's so little it's still easy to carry her around, and she likes it. She's the only one home with me three days a week. For much longer than the boys she got an extended and private bedtime routine. She knows if she's persistent enough she'll get to sleep in our bedroom in the middle of the night. These things just happen when you finally have time to do them, and kids know how to get the most out of you possible, despite your best intentions.

At one point my wife did try to tell her that she's not actually a princess. She did not like that one bit and screamed and screamed. We'll convince her eventually. In the meantime your thoughts and prayers are appreciated. Maybe don't let her hear how cute she is at every opportunity. I dunno.