On Friday we embarked on potty training round three, always a trial by fire, with our nearly two and a half year old little girl. For reference our boys were divergent experiences. Boy #1 was largely a breeze, and not because he was our only child at the time, he just understood the assignment and was agreeable to it quickly. Boy #2 was a tribulation, first with the initial step of recognizing his bodily functions and second with having a desire to go to the bathroom of his own volition. Motivation is always the vital factor with him. It wasn't really until this last summer, over a year later, that this wasn't a constant battle, and he still can be stubborn when we see his exaggerated, wiggling dance. This last time had us delaying, and dreading more than ever, taking it on again.
We also wanted it to be over, for obvious reasons. It's great having kids use the bathroom. It's great to not have to pay for diapers. As long as the fighting about it isn't unbearable and there aren't too many messes.
The delay also involved planning around the holidays. We were in Arizona for Christmas and potty training right before a long trip isn't ideal. Then it kinda slipped my mind a few weeks and, well, we kinda had a domestic discussing why. I swear I wasn't intentionally ignoring the need to do it. Then my wife wanted me to pick a day, I was evasive, and that didn't go well. After some reflection, and calendar gazing, I picked the following Friday and we agreed. It was a week later than it could've been, but we'd made a plan.
As in many circumstances, my biggest concern wasn't actually executing the main goal here, it was some tangentially related logistic. We hadn't yet done anything with our daughter's bed, she was in an enclosed crib, and we wanted her to, at least in theory, be able to go to the bathroom at night without help. Potential solutions included putting her mattress on the ground or taking the bed from our guest room, one that's probably too big for her room and a little elevated, but I didn't love those options. Once we had a date circled, however, I found a way to adapt her current bed, just needing that looming deadline I guess. It was done the day before her training began.
For another reference, for all three kids we've gone with the Oh Crap! method. This means, all of a sudden, your kid stops using diapers one day. It can be helpful to discuss the upcoming event beforehand but the biggest thing is absolute commitment. They need to understand they aren't getting a diaper again and can't wait it out. To start you go naked from the waist down then work in clothing. The first day, or several, can be messy but you can also put a tarp or plastic down and limit activity within the house. You need to watch closely for tells and help them get to the toilet, which can be a mini one right there in the living room. And if the kid can be convinced they want to do it they'll learn fast. That's the hope anyway.
Day one started with me gone for a couple hours, with a doctors appointment, but from what I was told the planned pants-less day went pretty well from the start. I took over on return, my wife had a few engagements of her own. The rest of the day, from a training standpoint, went as well as possible. There weren't many messes and the potties floating around our house were utilized. This was accomplished because she spent a great deal of time on the toilet, even when she didn't need to go. Back and forth, back and forth, from some activity to the toilet, all day long. It beats the alternative, a kid who refuses to go there, without a doubt.
I should've seen the difficulties beforehand. She's already a slow, distracted eater, who gets down repeatedly from her spot, if she can get away with it, during meal and snack time. Now she had something else she thought was fun, and we're not going to say no to going to the potty if she says she needs to go. During lunch she got down like a dozen times to sit on the potty, after each of which we needed to wash her hands. Looking back it's funny how frustrating this was, but we (I) got through it. Next was nap time and we were going to see how she did. It feels especially strange to have a kid lie down half naked for a nap, though I did cover her with a blanket. Happily she woke up dry, she'd been doing this with diapers for a while but you never know until you actually try without. The rest of the day saw more success with the toilets, but also an unfortunate casualness with them. They became toys. She threw books and toys in there. She started carrying the bowl around, putting it over her face and singing loudly to hear the echo. She was doing really well with what we wanted her to learn! But it was still gross, in an unexpected way. We also tried, that night, going without a pull-up and that didn't end up working. We had to try.
Day two, Saturday, she started wearing pants. That was a challenge and she went through a handful of pairs before it was back to pants-less. Both boys being home and a distraction must've played a part. While it was disheartening to go backward, she went right back to making it to the toilet (now in the bathroom) the rest of the day. We were again encouraged, but not so much that we thought we could leave the house yet. That piece was tough. It was nice over the weekend and she wanted to play outside.
Day three, Sunday, she and I stayed home while the rest of the family went to church. She started with pants right away and it was like a switch flipped. Suddenly she could consistently make it to the toilet and there were few times, though still some, where she went in there unproductively. I believe there was only one accident and that was when she'd been outside and in cold weather gear and we just didn't have enough time to get in. She really was going to be easy.
Still, I was nervous for Monday. With the week starting, and my wife back to work, I'd need to go on multiple long-ish drives, including twenty+ minutes each way to the middle child's 'nature school.' She also had swimming lessons. I packed towels and extra pants and tried to be prepared. But somehow, even though she wasn't always helpful in going when I asked, she made it dry the entire time, at home and in the car. I mostly stopped prompting her that day and she'd go her own, when she needed to. She's required some supervision moving everything to the real toilet, and help reaching the water in the sink, but overall the progress is amazing. Girls are great.
Now I need to get more and more comfortable taking her out of the house, running errands, etc. But wow has this gone well, easiest of the three. She even woke up and had me bring her to the bathroom last night at like midnight, keeping that pull-up dry. Hopefully the other shoe doesn't drop and she suddenly decides it's no longer fun. We'll see.
Speaking of pull-ups, boy #2 finally decided he didn't want to wear them anymore and has switched to underwear. Which is fantastic because the will is the key. He's been capable of making it, and willing to go to the bathroom right before going down and after waking up, all recent developments. For now he's getting one wake-up assist when we go to bed, but that's all. Success on all fronts! It's crazy how quickly things can happen sometimes.
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