Since my wife went back to work two weeks ago, the time has come where I'm responsible for two kids during the week. I was both dreading and eagerly awaiting that day, but so far the anticipation was worse than the result. That's a good thing.
At this point things have gone really well, and it helps that I feel more in control of my day. The first week was shortened, ideal for both my wife settling back into work and the rest of us adjusting to the new situation at home. Then the next full week (last week) wasn't bad either, though admittedly on Friday my patience wore a little thin. It's almost exclusively #1 that causes the consternation.
The baby (3 months old) remains totally predictable and I figured out his schedule quickly. He wakes up between 7 and 730am ready to eat. My wife feeds him immediately before heading out the door. Each time he's awake it's only an hour, maybe an hour and a half, before he's ready to sleep again. Then he sleeps the same amount of time, an hour to an hour and half. Since everything is such a quick turnaround, I usually only need to check his diaper on getting him up or before putting him down, unless there's poop of course, which is usually quite loud and obvious. Babies, lol. He wants to eat almost exactly every three hours (not kidding: 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm) and since acquiring a bottle warmer and a forehead thermometer the prep is relatively quick and easy. Usually we do need to stretch him out at dinner time or else he'd want to eat and fall asleep at like 6pm. He rather unhappily has to wait til close to 7 before going down for like 12 hours. Yes, we're aware how good we have it. Most babies aren't this easy and we've had two super sleepers.
I have to give my wife a lot of credit. All along she's been very good at manipulating the baby's schedule for the sake of all of us. I'm just keeping it going. She discovered that naps over 2 hours long result in worse sleep at night. Now I don't let that happen. She's also been all over how much milk I need for him during the day, and though that seems to be increasing there's always enough available.
As referenced earlier, #1, the toddler, is much more demanding. While before I (or my wife when she was on leave) could always give him attention, now there are times during the day when I also need to care for the baby. So I manage them both as best I can. It's usually not difficult to read to the older one while the younger is on my chest taking a bottle. But when you can't do something like that and the older one wants to play, I strive to avoid blaming the other child and needlessly add jealousy where it's already going to exist. I can make sure that when the baby's content or asleep I make time for play. Just being present and ready for what he wants to do is something I've been working to improve on, though it's always tempting to look at Twitter, or think about this blog or obsess over whatever else in the moment. I'm continuing to learn that being a parent is a constant battle with selfishness.
And oh, did I mention demanding? Every sentence out of the toddler's mouth begins with the word 'want.' Want this, want that. It's good that he can so well express what it is that he wants to do or wants to have and all that, but oh boy does that wear on me. Full days of this is more often than not what really grinds my gears. Hopefully we can make some headway with teaching how to ask.
Another difficulty is figuring out naps for #1. For months getting our son to willingly take naps was basically impossible. If successful he'd stay down for like two hours and be unwilling to sleep at his bedtime. During my wife's leave, we resorted to going for drives nearly every day, where he'd get like 20 minutes and that was usually good enough. Now we're trying to do 'quiet time' in his room, if only for 30 minutes. Almost every time he agrees to that plan he does fall asleep, which is better for everyone (no nap days are disasters). What I've been struggling with is timing and execution of this. It has to be early enough in the day, and it has to be a normal regular thing or else he's much more resistant. That means we probably can't run errands in the afternoon or do other things like that. The tentative plan for now is to keep doing quiet time on the days he doesn't have school.
I don't think my time home with two kids would be going nearly as well without preschool, which #1 started the same week my wife went back to work. For the first time in forever we actually have somewhere to be at a certain time, though fortunately it's at a church like five minutes away. Even only on Tuesdays and Thursdays, for a few hours, it's completely worth it. He not only gets to play with other kids, but they'll teach things and do activities I wouldn't think about. So far he loves going, not even looking back when I drop him off, and his teachers say he's acclimated tremendously. The little reprieve I get is thoroughly appreciated and allows me some time to do other things like write. It's what we'd call a win-win-win scenario, because my wife suggested it and we're all happier for it.
Our dog, who meanwhile is another notch down the totem pole, hopefully doesn't feel too ignored. I'm aware I have less time to walk him and otherwise play, so my plan for now is to take him to day camp, at a nearby Camp Bow Wow, like once a week or so. He's excited to go there too, though he's excited to do literally anything.
Anyway, that's my life at the moment. It's very exciting.
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