Our toddler is smack dab in the middle of being two and we expect emotions to run high. Tantrums and other outbursts were already happening and seemed to be increasing in intensity and frequency through the end of last year. I need to say that he's really a sweet kid but at that age you just can't control your feelings. Then his world got rocked by the appearance of a second child that's now always around.
I'm also a firstborn and don't remember what it was like when my sister first came home. It must have been jarring for me too. If we're comparing, though, our #1 is more extroverted and amenable to being the center of attention so recent events are likely harder for him than they were for me. He really doesn't like having his thunder stolen.
So the past few weeks have been a straining adventure to say the least. He's definitely more fragile. The things that set him off involve a much shorter fuse and are an order of magnitude more dramatic. It's often actions that he wants to do himself, and doesn't get a chance to do, that gets a fit started. Much of the time he doesn't let us know his desire to do the thing until it's already done and then there's nothing we can do about it. Some examples include (though are not limited to) opening the dog's crate in the morning, scooping the dog's food, filling our water bottles/cups at the fridge, flushing the toilet, or starting the washing machine and dryer. Sometimes it's almost comical when he throws himself on the ground and screams for minutes at a time about such trivial things but usually it's just draining on all of us to experience that level of emotion. It messes with my mood, certainly. Luckily the first week or so was the toughest and there's been some natural tapering off. It helps that I've figured out many of the activities that he needs to do and can avoid some of the minefield.
The other piece is the complete disaster that is bedtime right now. Before he would regularly come out of his bedroom one or twice at night and ask for a toy, or his water, or something. But it typically wasn't a challenge to get him down. Now almost every night is a brutal fight. Much of the time people have been staying with us, like my parents, and we think one element of this is fomo. We're doing or watching something downstairs and he knows his baby brother is with us. The result is a child that will not stay in his bedroom. We still go through the routine of PJs, reading, teeth brushing, hugs and tucking in. Then he comes out into the hallway upstairs over and over again. He must move his stuffed animal dogs out of his bedroom or back into his bed, then the reverse. He needs certain books from downstairs. The most tiring is a game (in his mind) where we need to say specific things. 'Good night little brown doggy' or simply 'Hi.' Doing this is purely appeasement however and doing what he requires only brings more demands and a sly look of achievement. If we don't do what he wants he screams and screams, to the extent we need to console him later. His bedtime is at or just after 8pm. One night he didn't go down until 11, though that was an outlier. Many other nights he drags it out until close to 9.
Obviously some adjustments are being tried to improve the situation at night. I now have him run through all the things he wants me to say before leaving the room. We can't give in to his games after that. We've also been doing less napping so he's more tired in the evening. This too is perilous though. If he doesn't get enough sleep he's even more of a moody mess during the day. And when he does get naps, he always sleeps at least a couple hours leaving him fresh and wide awake at night. So for now he still usually gets a nap. Sometimes it's only a short one in the car. Then we skip it every few days but it's an evolving day-to-day plan and pretty regularly a high-wire act.
Isn't life fun?
On a nearly entirely unrelated note, there isn't a time I hear that song (the title) and don't think of Starsky and Hutch, so let's end the post with this:
Til next time.
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