A check-in with the kids '26

I write less often these days and, hopefully, for as long as I'm still doing this, I can capture something of my life as a father of three, stay at home dad, (too) frequent traveler, all of it. I'm feeling, as time marches on, I haven't written nearly as much about the kids growing up as I'd like. In all honestly, whenever life decides to slow down, and I know that's not any time soon, I hope I can find these posts and relive the days of our kids being young, so I want to provide as many details as I can reasonably fit. It's likely I'll forget a lot of it.

Okay, enough sap. My goal here today is to give a brief check-in, or snapshot I guess, of what our three kids are like right now. It should be a challenge, but a fun one I think. One general comment before getting started. It always amazes me how much of a child's personality shines through at a remarkably young age. In many ways our kids are exactly the same as when I wrote about them individually, now years ago in the case of the boys. For callback purposes those posts are: The inquisitive toddler (#1, boy), The baby tornado (#2, boy), and The stubborn princess (#3, girl). Reading those before continuing could be useful and enjoyable context.

Our eldest, a boy, is now eight years old and in third grade. With a summer birthday he's young for his grade but that hasn't stopped him from being physically larger, more athletically gifted and one of the smarter kids in his class. (Yes, I'm his father but I'm also just going to call a spade a spade here.) He's obsessed with sports and has been ever since he could walk. He has an uncanny natural ability to throw (and hit) a ball, he's very coordinated overall and carries himself like an athlete. All that said, he's a terrible loser and will utterly melt down if, for one example, his teammate doesn't pass him the ball and they lose a basketball game at the buzzer. It doesn't need to be this intense of a situation though, it might be with a board game, or a lightning at practice. He just needs to win. This innate competitiveness we don't want to drive out of him, but we do need to work on how it expresses itself. Baseball has always been his best and favorite sport but he also plays flag football, basketball and golf when I can take him. He is, in addition, quite the fisherman and has honed his craft on Minnesota lakes and the Alaskan ocean. It's clear by now that he learns through questions (see above) and this has not stopped, or even slowed down. With reading he in essence picked it up overnight (see Rapidly reading) and he has his nose in a book near constantly, every night in his room, in the car, all the time. I'm struggling to keep him challenged but it's a good problem to have. The Redwall books are his favorite at the moment. He also appears to be good at math and his teacher last year had to find ways to challenge him or else he'd be a distraction. This has been consistent feedback since kindergarten. He has a silly side, like class clown stuff, that really comes out with his school buddies, and in all honesty it's too much, in particular when he turns that attitude on me or his mother. But in school he'll finish his work quickly and then, apparently, mess with his friends even if they're not done. Ah well, he's only eight. Altogether he is a charming, outgoing boy who's since birth been more extroverted than either of his parents, like he legitimately gets energized being around people. He excels at about everything he tries (like piano, for which he doesn't practice enough), though he does not like when struggles come. He gets that from me. A definite place for growth is remembering anything at all. I'm not referring to knowledge but what he was doing, or what he needs to bring when we leave the house. He'll get sidetracked getting dressed, get in the car for practice or a game with no equipment at all, and so on. Plus his room is always a disaster, especially with parts of various building or engineering projects (e.g. CrunchLabs). A more recent change is occasional moodiness, where everything is a gripe or an annoyance. But this isn't all the time either. He's truly a good kid, if a spacey one.

Our middle, another boy, is five years old and has started kindergarten. He has very different strengths. It's amusing how birth order stereotypes hold true. He does not have the body control and easy athleticism of our eldest, nor does he have the natural inclination, or need, to do what is expected of him, at least all the time. Instead, he's a dreamer, with all their good and bad. This means he's very independent, which shows in qualities of leadership with friends and family. He asks shockingly deep questions about life. He's super creative, with the invention of spur-of-the-moment games and jokes. He can't help himself when there's something that sparks his curiosity, with touching, with taking apart, maybe breaking, but that's his method of learning. There's significant intelligence in his little mind, as he consistently picks up how to do things without being directly taught. He'd rather figure it out himself anyway. I'll never forget as a baby how he stayed basically silent until he could just talk, and he stayed on all fours (always army crawling) until he could just walk. There wasn't a learning curve, he just went from not doing these things to doing them. Motivation is the only obstacle. In this way he fascinates me endlessly. While our space-cadet eldest is not the most emotionally intelligent, not understanding what's going on around him, our middle sees and feels everything. His cuddles are one of my wife's favorite things. He can be thoroughly thoughtful and considerate of others, and has a generous heart when it suits him. But he may decide to be bull-headed and impossible to please instead. Everything is an emotional extreme. This can be because something bothers him about fairness, there's a built-in version of justice in his mind, one that might be off-kilter. Or he may simply be hungry. As he, within minutes, goes from pure joy to desperate screaming and crying, and back again, we're learning to take it in stride and think of it as experiencing life to the fullest. He'll (have to) get better at learning to balance himself. For one, he needs to move his body, climb and be physical, though he's perpetually reckless in doing this. He's always running, never looking. We're taking a break from bike riding (Guardian bike, no training wheels!) because he simply will not stop swerving into the street without notice or a look. We worry about him and it's never been hard to see why he's needed stitches multiple times with the way he moves his body. He's drawn to stories with monsters, like dragons (re-reading the Hobbit for him rn) and he's absolutely worn out his Yoto listening to Treasure Island and the Jungle Book. To try and sum, the best descriptive words for this boy are endearing and volatile. It's some combination. (For the adjustment to kindergarten, we need another post.)

Our youngest, a girl, is recently four and goes to a part-time nature preschool. I like to joke that each subsequent kid in our family has gotten more strong-willed, and, to this point, she is the champion in that respect. If this little one (she's still itty-bitty, at least weight-wise) has her heart on doing something she is going to do it. And the opposite, if she doesn't want to do it, she won't. Being the youngest, and having two brothers to hold her own against, along with being told everywhere she goes how cute she is, has all contributed to that. She certainly gets away with more than either of the boys did, like for example how she creeps into our bed every night and ends up there in the morning. My wife hasn't picked that fight because we've long thought we were done having kids, and doesn't want to give up the cuddles. Our daughter will more strongly pester me for things she wants than either of the boys did, and lately on our days home together I'm hearing about candy (Tic Tacs!) and TV non-stop. We're still fighting the good fight on bathroom proclivities (see Backslide and near despair from over a year ago), because, more than anything, getting to the toilet just isn't a priority to her. This spirit, of course, has massive advantages. She wants to do a lot for herself, getting dressed and ready etc. She can and will entertain herself, generally quietly unless she has a song on her heart, for good lengths of time. I have high hopes she'll have a presupposed disincentive against peer pressure as she gets to those trickier girl years, long way off though it feels. I off-hand mentioned her weight above, and that she's so light comes as no surprise since she eats so scantily. She will ask for snacks all day, in the car constantly ('Can I have a car snack?'), and then when I give her food she picks at it. Many of her meals are barely touched, or she'll only eat bread. But, you know, she's surviving and thriving as a little peanut. We've started her in gymnastics, an excellent activity for someone of her size and strength, and she's taking to it well, though she seems unsure on continuing. In the meantime I'm sure she'll keep prancing around and practicing what she's learned. Her outside preschool is another factor in her determined independence, and for the most part we love what she gets to do there, but with the start of this school year she's getting dirtier than ever and a large portion of her clothes are horribly stained. She brings home 'gems' (pretty sure from mancala?) for herself and little sealed envelopes with art gifts for her parents every day. At home she's really into puzzles, and sticker books. She absolutely loves dogs and, for her benefit at least, it's good we got another one. She finally got her first haircut, as a birthday present more than anything. Overall I have to say I enjoy having a little girl, they're so different from the high energy of boys, and I'm glad I still get to spend at least a couple days a week with her. She's a treat. But, oh man, she does not like to be reprimanded.

There are a few more things to add, that reflect all three. All of them are obsessed with Pokemon, the cards, the anime, the video game we play together. Their favorite movies are Castle in the Sky, Star Wars (Ep IV) and the Disney Narnia trilogy from 20 years ago. We are working with the lot on noticing when other people are talking so as to not interrupt and proper manners at the table. It's a work in progress

This has gotten way too long but I think it was worth it. Those are our kids, right now. Thanks for reading.