The best decision we ever made

I feel like I've hinted at this before but don't think I've said it outright.

Something's been pressing on me lately, a result of moving back to Minnesota and settling back into life here. It was an easy transition this time because we already knew the area and a lot of people and places. There was very little unknown. You'd think this is a good thing, and that's not wrong, as I don't typically like the unknown. But it's become more apparent that leaving in the first place was the best decision we ever made.

Now, to be fair, I'm not comparing leaving Minnesota with my decision to propose to my wife and get married or our choice later to start having children. Family building is on a whole other level. What I'm trying to say is I couldn't be happier that we saw life elsewhere and that we did it on our own.

For some background, I didn't want to go. It was a huge surprise when my wife got her promotion opportunity requiring a cross-country move. We had to decide very quickly and afterward she started training, also out of state, immediately. We'd just bought our first house and had gotten a dog and I was settled into my first real job after college. I thought that's what life would be for a while. Suddenly I was home alone after work and, as the move date approached, super busy with getting ready. That wasn't the real challenge though. It was leaving the only place we'd ever lived and known.

I didn't know how to handle that move. It was hard saying goodbye. After our arrival in Maryland I didn't know what to do with my time. We were in a place we didn't know, at all, we didn't know anybody and I'd left my job. It was easy to kinda float aimlessly and be a little melancholy. Most of the remaining year was spent working on little projects around the house, like getting unboxed, replacing all the old brass hardware and painting nearly every room. I also watched a lot of TV.

Eventually we absolutely loved Frederick and its balance of urban and rural. We made some great friends through my wife's work, our church and activities like my golf league. We enjoyed the weather most of the year. But it took time, a couple years at least.

What was important, and what made it such a great decision for us, was that we got well outside our comfort zone. Most Minnesotans don't want to live anywhere else. If they do a large number come back. I think a lot of this is the people and Minnesota Nice because, for better or for worse, that's how we're built. I (we) definitely thought we'd end up back in Minnesota after a few years. That's what I wanted. After more than seven years everything had changed and we felt at home in Maryland. It was only after we were undecided on where to go next that we got the opportunity to come back. (Shrugs.)

By getting out of our comfort zone we got to experience life in an entirely different place. In addition to meeting so many different people I loved (obviously) being so close to so many historically significant sites and other interesting places. We didn't go into DC much but it was only an hour away and an option. I won't say that we became beach people but getting out to the coast was frequently an enjoyable experience, especially if we could go to Dogfish Head. In the end I think we did a good job exploring during our time there (though we could've done even more) and I'm glad my wife pushed me time and again to go new places. It was always worth it.

Even more than discovering fun places, the move was invaluable to us as a couple. We only had each other to depend on and spend time with as there were no family or good friends around (at least for a while). Life got tricky once we started having kids and everything that entails. Yes, our parents came out to help for a while, but there was still a ton of time when we were on our own to navigate both the challenges of day-to-day life and any potential adventures. We were largely able to figure it all out and today I think we're better for it.

What stands out as most weird about living in Minnesota again is it's really easy to get together with people here. Though it's more friends than family these days (my family has fled the state just as we've arrived) that's a good thing! It's just strange in retrospect after years of such gatherings requiring a long and special trip. So, like I said, it stands out.

I guess what I'm trying to build to is simply I'm extremely proud and grateful that we did it. Life outside Minnesota can be far better than I would've thought and I'm no longer afraid to leave if that's what makes most sense for my family. It forced my wife and I closer together. I've wondered a bit lately what our relationship would look like if we hadn't gone. Regardless, I'm glad our life hasn't gone any other way.

Alright, that's what's been on my mind a bit lately. It pays to get out there and challenge yourself. Even now I still need constant reminding.