While in some ways I'm not the most typical Minnesotan, you can definitely still see it in how I talk. The following video is a little long, ~25 minutes, and based on a book from an old A Prairie Home Companion author. If you have the time I highly recommend watching it, as few things have made me laugh harder. It's not only what's said and explained, but that everything is delivered in such a drool and matter-of-fact manner, applying everything he's talking about. The age of the video (from 1993) isn't important because I guarantee this aspect of Minnesota haven't changed. The made-up ads, however, are a little cringe-worthy.
Part of me wants to just say: That's it. That's the post.
Instead, let's go through some of it.
Forget about uff da and don't cha know for now. Being, and talking like, a Minnesotan is so much more than the commonly parodied phrases and pronunciation (though they're both largely accurate). This is one of the reasons I like the Fargo TV show. It's the interactions and the way things are said, or purposefully not said, more than anything else. When we go back and visit after living elsewhere for years, Minnesotan exchanges are increasingly striking and hilarious. This video captures that better than anything else I've ever seen.
A recap:
Lesson 1 - Useful phrases
As part of Minnesota nice, we don't want to express strong opinions lest someone get offended or even worse confrontational. We also don't want to be a bother, and that's often all that opinions may be. The result is the ultimate form of utterly meaningless small talk.
These three phrases can actually help in conversing like a Minnesotan.
- 'You bet' = I see your position, though I won't disagree or otherwise comment.
- 'That's different' = I don't particularly agree but that's all I'm going to say.
- 'Whatever' = Varied. Often used in resignation, it again results in no opinion expressed.
I prefer to use 'That's interesting' instead of 'That's different' and 'Sure' instead of 'Whatever.' They're essentially the same.
Lesson 2 - Sentence tone
What's wrong with a monotone? At least you don't startle anybody. - Howard Mohr
Lesson 3 - Use of negatives
We don't want to appear overly excited about things. As a result we're always understated and heavily use negatives as part of conveying all emotions, most notably the positive ones. This is becomes so natural it's like breathing, in all seriousness.
If someone asks how you're doing...
Instead of saying okay, we say 'Not too bad.'
Instead of saying pretty good, we say 'Can't complain.' Things might get worse, you know.
Instead of saying pretty bad, we say 'Not too good.'
It goes by fast but the last segment is important.
'Not too good' is absolutely worse than 'Not too bad.' Simply put, and this cannot be stressed enough, if I say I'm not doing too good, that's about the strongest statement I can possibly make in admitting to struggles.
Lesson 4 - Body language and self control
We do want to minimize close contact as part of conversation, and eliminate it if possible. It's very true that men will stand and talk without even looking at one another. I personally gesture quite a bit so am apparently unusual in that respect.
Another piece of being a Minnesotan is at least the veneer of friendliness, though it certainly can be genuine. We make eye contact and attempt to greet everyone when paths cross. This continues while driving and results in lots of waving. It may be someone you do actually know. Or it could just be someone you briefly interact with in passing, at a 4-way intersection or wherever. Btw the single finger wave off the steering wheel, accompanied by a slight nod, is the best thing ever.
Lesson 5 - Food
Hotdish is a thing, and generally it's not good. I don't get the pride aspect of it.
Lesson 6 - The third offer
In Minnesota, overeagerness is definitely faux pax and presumptuous. Everything should be declined at least once and if there's not a repeated offering it wasn't serious. Again we do not want to be a bother even if you are hosting. It's all a big song and dance.
And yet I do this, to a certain extent.
Lesson 7 - The Minnesota goodbye
While ridiculously over-the-top here, this is so frustratingly real as well. The etiquette is dead right. You start the process of leaving somewhere by announcing to a family member, or even aloud just to yourself, your intentions. (My father-in-law is king of this step.) The host will discourage such rash and sudden behavior. You will be offered things, usually food. When finally out the door your hosts may stand outside waving goodbye, or shockingly, walk down the driveway a bit. The Minnesota goodbye can extend to phone calls too, unnecessarily lengthening them. I desperately try to avoid this, but if I do please point it out.
Well hopefully this was at least a tiny percentage as funny to you as it was for me. To my friends on the east coast this all should be weird and foreign, though now you can't say you're uninitiated. To those from Minnesota it should be all too familiar.
Maybe now you understand me a little better. Until next time.
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